Life's Little Events

My baby girl is going to be eight next week. It seems impossible. I look back at her newborn baby pictures and I honestly feel like it was a different lifetime, like those youngsters holding that teeny tiny baby are not me and my husband but different people altogether. Those people didn't know anything about babies, let alone babies with reflux, or toddlers who throw hour long tantrums or kids who refuse to brush their teeth. In short, we had no idea what we were getting into. But who does? Who can prepare you for this journey of infinite joy and snot?

Yesterday, Maia had two "eeking towards tweenage" events: 1) she lost her 2nd front tooth and 2) she received her very first sleepover invitation.

Let's start with Life's Little Event #1. She lost her 2nd front tooth during school yesterday. Unbeknownst to us, she put her tooth in her tooth fairy box and left it in the hallway (so that the Tooth Fairy doesn't scare her by coming into her room). We totally forgot about the Tooth Tairy deal until I saw the box sitting in the hallway this morning. She was already up and in the kitchen waiting for Shad to cut her some watermelon for breakfast. Somehow, I got his attention as he passed through the living room and he said "Go cut her watermelon and make it slow...". Okay.....

So, I lumbered around for just the right knife and I labored over cutting the watermelon just so. Still, as I got her a plate for the giant watermelon slice, she very animatedly perked up and said "I forgot to check for my tooth money!"

"OH! Well, here's your watermelon," I offered in a much more spritely tone than typical in an attempt to entice her to stay in the kitchen, but what kid isn't going to go racing to see if she got $ from the tooth fairy? "OK, go CHECK FOR YOUR MONEY" I half-yell towards the back of the house so that Shad will know she is coming. I have no idea if he's found money yet...

She comes back to the kitchen with a $5 bill. Good save by Daddy, and that's some generous Tooth Fairy! (It was all he had...).

Which brings me to our #2 Little Life Event from yesterday, the sleepover invite. Maia is typically ok with spending the night with her grandparents. She has done this so often since she was little that she does alright with not being scared. However, she has never.... NEVER... spent the night at a friend's house. So, now she is invited to a sleepover. And the invite states that any girl who wants to leave at 8:30pm instead of spending the night is welcome to do that. I figured that might appeal to Maia, but she is set on spending the night. It is this Friday. So, we'll see how that goes.

Shad was surprised, as well, that Maia wants to try this. It is a family that we know well, so we are fine with her trying to spend the night if that is what she wants to do. He was talking to her about it when a surprise (yes, Surprise!) #3 Little Life Event got thrown into the mix:

Shad: "Well, I guess if you want to stay then maybe we should find somewhere for Nate to stay overnight too. Then Mommy and Daddy can have a date."

Maia: "You just want to have a date so that you and Mommy can be alone to kiss and have sex."

WWWWHHHHHAAAATTTTT?????!!!!! Shad nearly ran the car off of the road. Did she really just say that??? WTH???? For the love of all that is sacred, what on earth do you say to your almost 8 year old when they so brashly accuse you of wanting to have sex with their mother?

What does this mean? Am I supposed to have The Sex Talk with her now? Do I need to inform her? How do you tell an 8 year old about sex when they still believe in the Tooth Fairy!!!!!!!

I need help here. I don't know what to do. I honestly do not know what to say to her. I wasn't there when it was said... but it sure sounds to me like she has a pretty good idea about It. And I know not to make the mistake of thinking that she can't possibly know more than we think she does... she ALWAYS knows more about EVERYTHING than we think she could possibly know. And I don't need her being the kid on the playground talking about how her parents have sex everytime they have a date (as if). Is that what she thinks we do on a date?? I see that she has the kissing thing and the alone thing down... I guess I need to talk to her and see what she does know so that I can figure out where to go from there.

But I don't want to. I'm not ready for this particular Little Life Event. I mean, can't we have the "Santa isn't real" talk first??? "Mom and Dad are the Tooth Fairy"...... that even sounds terrible. I can't deal with the dichotomy of (im)maturity in this child!! Nobody prepared me for this!

So... any advice??